"Don't live the same year 75 times and call it a life."
- Robin Sharma
My path to Flow Space has been winding and very uncertain. Six years ago as I was beginning my career in the practice of law, and also preparing for my wedding, I began an exercise program that truly changed my body. I dropped weight, several sizes, and felt good about my body for the first time in my life. I was starting out in litigation and about to walk down the aisle to marry the love of my life, but this time sparked a curiosity in exercise and movement that to this day I haven't been able to shake. I looked forward to my daily sweat sessions on the mat, my yoga classes, or my run. It felt so freeing and my mind felt so quiet.
I looked into side gigs, or possible career shifts into wellness at that time, and never had the courage to step outside the identity I had made for myself in the legal world.
Last year, my husband and I picked up our family, our beautiful daughters, and moved from my hometown of Lexington to Bluffton, SC. Bluffton is a quaint, coastal town that has completely stolen our hearts. It was a dream of ours to live close to the beach and we didn’t know how we were going to make that happen, but we did and we are so proud of ourselves. It was a big change for me and it taught me that the other side of your comfort zone isn't so bad, it actually can help you learn more about yourself than sitting still ever will.
Through some highs and lows the past three years, I was really forced to dig deep and begin asking myself questions about living more in alignment with who I really am. Life has a way of forcing you into a corner and that's kind of how it felt for me.
In the past 3 years I’ve experienced grief, postpartum depression, and a lot of anxiety. Starting only months after my father passed away in 2015, grief with anxiety made me feel like the world around me was just crumbling and I had no way to put it back together. I was different now and the truth was it became more difficult to do the things I didn't really want to do. When you set out on a path in your 20's, it's hard to then change course a bit or pivot if that path turns out not to be exactly what you wanted. I now see it as a part of the grief process and the inevitable dismantling of your former self once you are on the other side of loss. The perspective you gain is transformative. As I tried to get back to normal life, I began having immense anxiety. I would shake, my heart would race, and I would feel like I couldn’t catch my breath.
I have always exercised, having started with a personal trainer in my teenage years and trying every type of exercise there is. In the throes of my anxiety, I felt pretty helpless as to how to feel better. I came to find that the only thing that worked was movement...exercise...and sweating until the anxious energy could move through me. This time, I was moving to heal myself of the unrelenting thoughts of fear going through my head. My intention was to heal my mind, instead of tone my body.
I would move and sweat and listen to my breath and little by little the heaviness would go away or lighten. It would come back the next day but if I kept moving, it got better and better. I was having heart palpitations every day, and physical manifestations of the stress. Those disappeared about 6 months after devoting myself to exercise. I would come home and be present with my children and husband in a way that felt impossible before. I felt more joy and hope. I wanted, simply, to do more of it, and possibly even help others through the struggle of finding your way to a healthier way of life.
So here I am, with as much clarity as I've ever had before in my life. I am leaping into the world of wellness, health and fitness. I'm not quitting my day job as a lawyer, but I'm just doing more of the things that I truly enjoy and that give me light. I became certified to teach group fitness and barre classes. I have been studying, researching, and practicing daily the exercises that feel the best and have created the most change in my body and I'm ready to share with others what I've learned.
Here’s what I know now and the basis for this new adventure:
Health is a privilege. You get one vehicle to go through life in. If you don’t take care of it, mind and body, it will give up on you. If your goal is longevity, to be with your loved ones as long as possible, treat your body as the temple that it is. My dad’s body failed him at 58 years old. His soul had the age of a 20 something year old, but his body was done. He died of his first heart attack. I learned the day we lost him that we can have dreams and goals, but if we don’t take make our health a priority, none of it will happen. Our bodies were made to do amazing things, so why not use them to their full potential while we can.
Knowing yourself is the true work of your life. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to fit a mold or please other people. When the comfort zone I had built in my life fell away and I had no control over putting it back together, I was left with just me. I had no clue who I was. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know where to start. So at the top of my to do list was clarity. Get clear about who you are, and that will guide you to what you should do with your day and how you should live your life. I've learned that being a lawyer is a part of me, but this is also a huge part of me too.
Stop resisting your intuition. Once you start listening to your intuition, gut-feeling, inner knowing or whatever you want to call it, I guarantee you, you will feel an ease and joy that you haven't felt before. I am learning that it wasn’t my life or my circumstances that caused the anxiety, but my resistance to who I really am. If you're struggling with this, I would strongly suggest starting with movement. Movement helps you to get back in your body. It anchors your mind to the present moment and makes it easier to hear yourself and your own intuition. It's a tool to use again and again, day after day to come back to yourself. It detoxes and heals the body but also floods the mind with calming chemicals to experience greater peace and joy in your life.
Face the fear or live with regret. Lastly, what I have found to be the most important for me is at this moment as I share with you this passion of mine I’ve held in my heart for years…. is you get a choice in life, you can choose excitement and new possibilities that inevitably come with fear, or you can choose regret. Uncertainty is scary. But each time I feel the stranglehold and paralysis that comes with fear, I ask myself,
“But what about regret? If it’s too scary, fine, but will I be able to live with regret?”
If your answer is no, then you must do the thing you fear.
Through my years of learning exercise and nutrition, I have been my own guinea pig. I have lost around 60 pounds twice after the birth of my two girls, recovered from two c-sections, significantly lowered my cholesterol, gotten in the best health and shape of my life now in my 30's, found a holistic solution to battling anxiety, and I have given myself the best chance of getting the most out of each and every day with the ones I love. I am nowhere near perfect, and I will not try to be on this new journey. We are all flawed and works in progress. Just doing our best and getting the most of our precious time is enough. My husband Zach and I have always bonded over a love for wellness. Some of our first dates involved going for a run or a yoga class. We want to give to you what we have learned in a way that can help you on your own journey, and we will devote all our love, energy and time to being available to help you along you the way.
So, with that pretty long version of how I got here...I introduce you to Flow Space.
All my love,